These days, anything and everything that can be reviewed online is reviewed online. Intensively and with brutal honesty. And if you thought escorts in Prague would be any exception to the rule, you’re very much mistaken!
But what’s really entertaining about the whole thing is that the same rules seem to apply when it comes to the types of people who take the time to leave reviews. It’s no secret that most people are far more likely to share their thoughts after experiencing something negative. Hence, take a look online at a bunch of escort reviews and you’re more likely to find negative (though often hilarious) accounts from disgruntled punters.
In most instances, it’s simply a case of the punter in question having expected, demanded or done something moronic along the way. First-timers in particular to have a nasty habit of getting things rather wrong, after which the finger of blame gets pointed elsewhere.
You don’t have to look far to find some real stingers, but the following we’ve plucked from forums across the EU are some of the best we’ve seen by far:
- “She actually wanted to charge me £100 for full sex. £100! I’m used to paying £25 from the girls I pick up and I’ve always left happy. I don’t care how pretty she was, £100?? Oh, and that’s on top of expecting me to pay for dinner and drinks. The deal was off before it was on. I’m not made of money.”
Clearly a chap who’d be better off with his usual streetwalkers than high-end escorts!
- “Not happy at all. I booked Sara for three hours but couldn’t resist getting stuck in the moment she got here. I was pretty much done in 15 minutes and asked if I could cut the time down to an hour. No way, she said. I’d booked for three hours so I was paying for three hours. Even though I chucked her out more than two hours early. Totally unreasonable. All that money for less than an hour.”
The price of hiring a gorgeous escort with a loaded gun. Maybe don’t overstate your own capabilities next time!
- “So it turned out that everything I wanted to do was completely off the cards. Kissing, licking, oral without a condom – everything I asked for, she said no. She did point out that this was all stated pretty clearly on her profile, but I didn’t see it when I booked. Or I wouldn’t have bothered. Left a bit frustrated but I’ll know better for next time.”
A cautionary tale from a chap who was clearly too excited by the profile picture to read the rest of the profile.
- “One of my mates recommended an escort agency in Prague, but I found a way cheaper one before I set off. Girls looked gorgeous, loads were available and it was about half the price of his recommendation. The joke was on me – I honestly think I’d have rather seen my mate walk through the door and he’s a 45-year-old male plumber from Basingstoke. Bloody awful. Fake pictures and profiles. Worst part being I’d already paid in advance!”
If you’re going to use an escort agency, make sure it’s an escort agency you can trust. Cut corners while counting the pennies and you’re in for a night you’ll never forget…unfortunately!
- “Hire an escort for a business meeting in Prague. Seemed like a good idea at the time and I knew a colleague of mine had recently done the same in New York. So that’s what I did. Formal dinner, jackets, ties etc. Into the lobby of my hotel she walks with more makeup on than Bozo the Clown, a skirt shorter than my belt and enough perfume to choke a donkey. That was the quickest £250 I’ve even blown. Out the door she went, thought I’d be better off going alone.”
Once again, do your homework!
- “Biggest turnoff of my entire life. And no stranger to escorts but this one, Jesus Christ. Don’t get me wrong, she was hot as I’ve ever seen. Seemed really nice too. And her apartment was gorgeous. Everything seemed just fine. That was, until her previous client who’d clearly only just finished the job a few seconds earlier walked out of the bathroom still cleaning himself up. I mean, she could at least have told me to wait in the lobby while she bundled him out somehow. Suddenly everything about the whole thing made me feel sick. I paid and left. And had a VERY weird chat with the clean-up guy in the lift on the way down!”
Yep…that’s got to be just about the most awkward thing we’ve ever heard too!
- “Don’t waste your money – condom sex only. And she uses her own mega-thick rubbers so she knows it’s all legit. She actually got quite pissed off when I even made a suggestion of doing anything without a rubber. She’d barely go near me until I was covered. Not exactly what I’d call romantic. Wouldn’t go again under any circumstances.”
Seriously? If you ever find yourself with a sex worker who doesn’t insist on using condoms, run for the hills!! You really want to take your chances? Unbelievable…his loss for sure!
- “Would I recommended Paulina to anyone else? Not a chance. She wasn’t exactly a low-cost escort and yet she wouldn’t even pay for my parking at the hotel. Unreal. That was an extra £20 or so on the bill that wasn’t disclosed ahead of time. Talk about rude. And the look on her face when I brought it up. I’m not cheap but to have to pay for my own parking at an escort hookup? Get lost.”
Not cheap? Hilarious! Some clients wine and dine their escorts, take them on holidays and show them the time of their life. This guy – free parking or no deal! Skinflint of the century…we have a new winner!